A Cat-astrophe
It was like any other morning.
The sun is shining brightly while I’m still lying on my stomach. Hugging a pillow, catching my late snooze and still dreaming about the mirage of a bliss that is 2021.
My back was claimed by my pet which sees me as I see her, announcing to the air with a dignified meow that she has accomplished something. I know this is one of those situations where I have to exhibit dread.
So I get up and venture forth, scouting the house for clues. “Where is the mischief? What have you done now?” I ask her. She simply grins.
The living room seems clear, wires intact and no foul play. I head to the store room which she claims as her den. Scattered about are the articles of her possession — the water trough, the food bowl and the unholy litter box. Rubbing my eyes, I look carefully and discover what I feared.
Madam has unloaded herself outside the aforementioned blasphemous litter box. Utter sacrilege.
I know what I have to do. I get the tools to scoop the remains of her previous day’s dinner and place it back in its rightful heathen sand. I pace back to my bed still wondering what’s next in my dream — I can’t wait to resume the episode. However… I still can’t get the smell away…
It seems to be everywhere!
I scout around the living room a bit more, carefully scanning every corner — has she left clues?! Living room — clear. Her own den — clear. The kitchen — thankfully safe.
But alas, the stench doesn’t leave me. Where could it be? I wash my hands — the stench still overpowers.
I know it’s close, I’m not hallucinating.
Finally, I get to the bathroom and decide to take a bath — shattering my dreams for the rest of the morning. As I take off my tee shirt, I realize it’s getting worse to a glass shattering point in my head.
It’s here!
Flashbacks of her first entering the room unceremoniously, claiming my back — her extra loud meow- it’s all coming back. The accomplishment she announced was the last piece of her remains streaked upon my tee shirt before she sent me on the hunt.
Bitch.
