Elder-Splaining
Ganesh is an everyday commuter of the Western Railways in Mumbai. Each day, he enters his seemingly not-so-different First Class compartment with his bluetooth headphones on. He finds a spot between air pockets among the standees and dives back into his phone to finish watching that episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine. A seated elderly gentleman grumbles to himself saying “This generation is only about cellphones and…” that banter you know what words fill here. He tugs Ganesh’s trousers from where he is seated. Ganesh takes off his headphones, Jake Peralta’s proudly goofy voice can be heard pouring out of the earpiece. “Why don’t you get off your cellphone for sometime? You must read a newspaper!” ‘splained the elderly gentleman to the relatively independent Ganesh who catches all the days updates whilst on Twitter, InShorts, Al Jazeera and the various other internet friendly news portals where there is no dearth of information. The disgruntled Ganesh goes back to his TV show muttering to himself. A pointless exchange.
Parthav, a rookie in fitness has just begun his home workouts. Small steps towards a potentially addictive, rewarding regime. Elongating his body across the floor, he’s ready to pack that first push up with all the power he can muster. He’s confident that he has his stance right. As his head tilts up, torso ready to meet the floor, a pair of old legs, belonging to his father pass by with a booming uninvited voice. “What are you doing! Don’t spread your legs this wide, it won’t be effective! Make sure your arms are parallel and perfectly in line with your shoulder!” Glass shatters in Parthav’s head and all motivation has been destroyed from this piece of unsolicited advice.
Ganesh and Parthav aren’t alone. There are millions of victims across the world facing people who think they’re entitled to passing on advice when there isn’t any needed. Not just the grandpappies, we’re talking about anyone just above the age of 25. Men and Women who think they’ve seen the world enough to steer another person’s car while driving their own — you don’t want to do that, you’ve got your own traffic situation going on at whatever age you’re in.
Sure, you’re definitely welcome to share all your ‘learnings’ with younger people but I (and I will hashtag this just to annoy the generation that didn’t embrace the internet enough) want you to give me advice #OnlyWhenAskedFor.
I have been at the giving end of eldersplaining too, that’s what I like to call it. Many a times, incognizant of my action, I too have passed on absolutely unsolicited advice and told people what they can or cannot do, when there’s absolutely no need for it. Having been called out on it too, I’ve understood what is wrong with it. I have made my peace with this concept.
This goes out to anyone who think they’re above someone else standing on the pedestal that is age-advantage: Age doesn’t determine experience, it only determines the likelihood of someone being experienced. There is a stark difference between the two.
If you’re a working individual, please don’t consider yourself more experienced than a college kid. Don’t rope in unnecessary conversation with someone just because you think they’re doing something you have done before. If you’re a college kid, keep the shortcuts of getting through school to yourself — self discovery is a fascinating part of life.
Eldersplaining is often passed off as ‘concern’ without either party grasping this. If you’re patient enough, take it through your left ear and let it out the other. If you want to save someone else from being victim to annoyance, call out their unsolicited expression.
